Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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