He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You were trust falling into bushes
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
