Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
