Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
