She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
It's blow job season.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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