Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
