I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
