I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
