You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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