At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Randomize
