I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Randomize
