Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
