margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
