That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
