my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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