He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize