can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
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His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
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I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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