There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
