drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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