And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
