It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
