It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize
