when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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