doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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