Those balls look pretty dangerous.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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