Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
