I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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