I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
operation harelip BJ is a go
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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