you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
worst night to have a conscience
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
