I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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