"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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