this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Just invented taco cereal.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
