..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
