I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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