based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
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This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
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I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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