I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
