You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize