I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Ambien. No doubt about it.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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