i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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