how can u be prego again
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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