I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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