I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
