i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
there is glitter all over my balls
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
