Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
