After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
