Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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