meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
two words: eviction party
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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