As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
