why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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