so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
