he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
