"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
