Christians are straight up FREAKS
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
