you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
