after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
