also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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