I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
