do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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