I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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