my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
